I read about a court case that was lost because of the silence of an attorney. The distinguished lawyer Samuel Hoar (1778-1856) was representing the defendant. When it was time to present his case, he told the jurors that the facts favoring his client were so evident that he would not insult their intelligence by arguing them. The jury retired to deliberate and returned in a few minutes with a verdict of guilty. Samuel Hoar was astonished!
"How," he asked, "could you have reached such a verdict?" The foreman replied, "We all agreed that if anything could be said for a case, you would say it. But since you didn't present any evidence, we decided to rule against you." Silence had lost the case.
How often the opportunity to speak a word of testimony for Christ is lost because we remain silent. Those who need to hear the gospel may conclude that salvation is not important enough to talk about. - Source Unknown.
Do not be afraid to share the faith that is in YOU!! :)
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Friday, September 7, 2007
Jokes, etc..
Joke 3:16
When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session.
“I’m not aware of the nature of your problem,” the doctor said. “So perhaps you should start at the very beginning.”
"Of course," replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth."
---
New Priest
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”
So the next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don’t gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.
10.We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!
11.When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, “Take this and eat it, for it is my body”, he did not say, “Eat me.”
12.The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, “Mary with the Cherry”.
13.The recommended grace before a meal is not: “Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God”. and finally…
14.Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St.Peter’s, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.
---
When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session.
“I’m not aware of the nature of your problem,” the doctor said. “So perhaps you should start at the very beginning.”
"Of course," replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth."
---
New Priest
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”
So the next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don’t gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.
10.We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!
11.When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, “Take this and eat it, for it is my body”, he did not say, “Eat me.”
12.The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, “Mary with the Cherry”.
13.The recommended grace before a meal is not: “Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God”. and finally…
14.Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St.Peter’s, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.
---
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